Register :: Log in :: Profile   


Winners of the 2007 Samurai Fiction Contest
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    The Samurai Archives Citadel Forum Index // Oshirase
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Obenjo Kusanosuke
Kii no Kami
Kii no Kami
Forum Kanrei
Forum Kanrei
2009 Benefactor
2009 Benefactor



Joined: 16 Dec 2006
Posts: 4554
Location: Tokyo, Japan

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 12:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
But Domer-san, isn't Clavell's Japan indeed the land of the gods? It is as it is and has always been that way. It is your duty to learn Japanese as it is in the book as our liege lord, Clavell-san has ordered. Do not question what you can't understand or what may appear to be improper Japanese. Just accept it. It is like drinking tea from an empty cup. Not to accept this is kinjiro Domer-san. Wakarimasuka> Hai?

Wasn't *kinjiro* the word that Clavell always used for "forbidden"?

Now about that little Yabu fellow...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ltdomer98
Daijo Daijin
Daijo Daijin
Veteran Member



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 5456
Location: Washington (the one with all the politicians)

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Bitchslap Harakiri
_________________
Bring it on, laddie 'Domer
The Sengoku Field Manual Blog
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Obenjo Kusanosuke
Kii no Kami
Kii no Kami
Forum Kanrei
Forum Kanrei
2009 Benefactor
2009 Benefactor



Joined: 16 Dec 2006
Posts: 4554
Location: Tokyo, Japan

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Laughing Seriously, you've got a good and valid point about learning Japanese from Clavell's "Shogun". I got into a little trouble using the book as a dictionary many, many years ago. I guess trying to learn Japanese from Clavell's "Shogun" is like trying to learn how to cook gourmet meals from Kusanagi, the boney-faced SMAP guy on TV... Rolling Eyes
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
cbubacz
Artisan
Artisan
Veteran Member



Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 100
Location: New Hampshire, USA

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Somehow I knew the Shogun reference would stir somebody up. Laughing Still, my main point stands.

If I wanted to make up my own language, like in A Clockwork Orange, I could give the reader all the context clues to figure out what each word meant. Same with the martial art techniques, though they would need some physical description to set a precedent.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
ltdomer98
Daijo Daijin
Daijo Daijin
Veteran Member



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 5456
Location: Washington (the one with all the politicians)

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
cbubacz wrote:
Somehow I knew the Shogun reference would stir somebody up. Laughing Still, my main point stands.


Great book--I still reread it every few years or so. However, having studied Japanese for 13 years now, it makes me wince whenever Clavell tries to use Japanese. His main problem is that he obiously just looked in the dictionary and took a word, with no idea of context or conjugation. The easiest example is "Dozo", which is "please" in the dictionary; what the dictionary doesn't fully explain is that it's "please" in the "please, have a seat...please, have a piece of cake" sense, not a "may I please have a piece of cake?" sense. Clavell continually misuses this throughout his 1382 pages. Likewise, he throws verbs in there straight out of the dictionary--no conjugation whatsoever. Had he simply had the manuscript read by a basic level Japanese speaker, those would have been an easy fix.

I don't disagree with your point--you can work the language in, but you have to be *very* careful how you do it, and you have to actually know what you're writing. Again, I had some issue with this in "Yuki Akari"--some of the Japanese just didn't *sound* right.
_________________
Bring it on, laddie 'Domer
The Sengoku Field Manual Blog
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
AJBryant
Shikken
Shikken
Veteran Member



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 1782

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
The easiest example is "Dozo", which is "please" in the dictionary; what the dictionary doesn't fully explain is that it's "please" in the "please, have a seat...please, have a piece of cake" sense, not a "may I please have a piece of cake?" sense. Clavell continually misuses this throughout his 1382 pages.


My favorite one is when Fujiko is holding the gun on Omi, and says "Ugokanaide. Dozo." Which can only mean "Don't move. Please move."


Tony
_________________
http://www.sengokudaimyo.com
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kitsuno
Forum Shogun
Forum Shogun



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 9481
Location: Honolulu, HI

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
AJBryant wrote:

My favorite one is when Fujiko is holding the gun on Omi, and says "Ugokanaide. Dozo." Which can only mean "Don't move. Please move."


Tony


Laughing That's hilarious. I haven't read Shogun since, well, the first time I read it, 16 years ago.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ltdomer98
Daijo Daijin
Daijo Daijin
Veteran Member



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 5456
Location: Washington (the one with all the politicians)

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
AJBryant wrote:
My favorite one is when Fujiko is holding the gun on Omi, and says "Ugokanaide. Dozo." Which can only mean "Don't move. Please move."


[Eastwood] "Go Ahead....make my nichi...."[/Eastwood]
_________________
Bring it on, laddie 'Domer
The Sengoku Field Manual Blog
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
phillipmichael1
Vagrant
Vagrant
Veteran Member



Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 2
Location: Norfolk Virginia

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:05 pm    Post subject: Congradulations to Everyone Reply with quote
Hello everyone. My name is Phil I am new to this forum. I finally got a chance to read everyone's entries and there is some good stuff and great imagination and I think everyone did wonderful. There is some great constructive comments and well thought-out input, suggestions and advise and I appreciate that very much. Not once did I see anyone hammering anyone with negitive comments. I think we can all agree that is very much appreciated.

I am the one that submitted "It's a Girl" This is the first short story contest I entered and I didn't know about it till a month before the deadline. At first I went back and forth about submitting an entry but then I figured that if I didn't, then I would have been kicking myself for not and who knows, maybe I'll make a friend or two.

Those that have read "It's a Girl" may have come to the conclusion that the story is a portion of a larger story and you would be right. I have been working on this story for a long time. It is a personal project and when I found out about the contest, this portion of the larger story is the only installment that came close to fitting the contest rules.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for the comments and although we all may not have came in first, second or third, we all are winners for submitting something to share with people that have similar interests.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ltdomer98
Daijo Daijin
Daijo Daijin
Veteran Member



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 5456
Location: Washington (the one with all the politicians)

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Welcome, Phillipemichael! Glad to have you aboard.

That makes sense, about your story being part of a larger story, because there were many questions I had reading it. The relationship between your hero and his Japanese host is completely unclear--we don't know why he's in Japan, or how he met the samurai, really. That, for me, made it a little confusing. I did like the premise, though, and I'm sure some of those questions are answered in the larger narrative.
_________________
Bring it on, laddie 'Domer
The Sengoku Field Manual Blog
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
phillipmichael1
Vagrant
Vagrant
Veteran Member



Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 2
Location: Norfolk Virginia

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thanks Itdomer98. As a matter of fact, I finally put the finishing touches on a chapter that does answer your questions about Reuben and his hosts connection and the relationship with Renee. If you are interested, I would be happy to have you give it a read.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ltdomer98
Daijo Daijin
Daijo Daijin
Veteran Member



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 5456
Location: Washington (the one with all the politicians)

PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Certainly!
_________________
Bring it on, laddie 'Domer
The Sengoku Field Manual Blog
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
AJBryant
Shikken
Shikken
Veteran Member



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 1782

PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
Hello everyone. My name is Phil I am new to this forum.


Welcome!

Quote:
although we all may not have came in first, second or third, we all are winners for submitting something to share with people that have similar interests.


And what a delightfully modern sentiment. Twisted Evil


Tony
_________________
http://www.sengokudaimyo.com
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kitsuno
Forum Shogun
Forum Shogun



Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 9481
Location: Honolulu, HI

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
While updating the site for the new fiction contest, I shockingly realized that a year later, I still hadn't uploaded last years stories. Shocked

Here they are, in all of their glory:

http://www.samurai-archives.com/guestart.html

Sorry 'bout that. I highly recommend them, there are a few gems - granted some fairly rough gems, but still good.
_________________
Shop Amazon.com, support the Samurai Archives: http://amzn.to/wnDX2j

Subcribe to Blog FeedS-A Podcast homepage
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Post new topic   Reply to topic    The Samurai Archives Citadel Forum Index // Oshirase All times are GMT - 10 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
Page 3 of 3

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Help the Samurai Archives




alexisRed v1.2 // Theme Created By: Andrew Charron // Samuraized By: Aaron Rister

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group